Count to Ten
by BetterIdeal
Summary: You close your eyes, count to ten and try to find an answer. Count to ten, and try to breath through the pain. Ten centimetres closer to a perfect world. A series of unrelated one-shots in intervals of ten.
1. Luna

**A/N: Mild swearing. The effect of Hermione & Draco's elopement, from the memory of Luna Lovegood. I don't own anything, or hold any prejudices against the Hungarians. Enjoy.**

You close your eyes, count to ten, and try to find an answer. It shouldn't be hard, you've always got them. Not this time though; this time you're just as desperate as everybody else. You've always been intelligent, you were a Ravenclaw, after all, but all the books in the world won't bring you what you need. _Books_. Your heart threatens to rip open at the thought. But you stay strong. You have to. You're the only strength they've got left.

It was warm and hazy the night it all started. You lay in your bed with the sheets kicked off, trying to stay as far away as possible from Rolf; he's far too warm. Like a living, breathing radiator. Sleep was fickle, coming and going in hour long spurts. At exactly 3:47am the frantic banging on the door to your flat began. It registered in your sleep hazed brain that this was unusual. All the wizards you knew would have floo'd you and people in the building seem to avoid you like you've got spattergroit, but you've grown used to that. You begin to forget why you've awaken when there's another crash against the door and the whole building must here her scream '_Damn it Lovegood, I know you're there! Let me in or so help me...'_ You don't let her finish the thought, you know what she's capable of and you're pretty sure you heard James wailing as she hollered. She swoops into your living room and paces frantically back and forth and you snatch James from her arms because you worry, at the rate she's moving, he might get shaken baby syndrome. Your heart clenches with fear, because you've only known Ginny Potter since she was a Weasely, and you've only seen her so terrified during the war. You silently plea with her to say something, explain what's happening, the tension in the room is almost unbearable.

"She's gone Luna. Gone! No one's heard from her in a week. There's no paper trail, no missing money or jewelry or note or a God damn reason but she's gone!" She finally screams, making James cry again and you wish you could cry along with him. "I'm so sick of being alone at Grimmauld Place. Harry and Ron are running around looking for something, anything, but there's _nothing_! Her last owl note said she'd be back from business last Wednesday. We tried sending one. It came back. Couldn't find her. Luna please please please tell me you've got some idea of where Hermione is!"

Ginny's a mess as she sits down on your couch and looks to you, desperate for answers. You deny any knowledge, because you don't know where or what has happened to your friend. You cradle the two Potters and assure them that everything will be alright. Offer Ginny the bed in the spare room, even conjure a cradle for a still fussing James. You're mind is far away when a voice breaks through at 4:33.

"Come back to bed, Lu. Gin will be fine, she just needs some rest. I've sent an owl, we'll talk to the men in the morning. Come, love. There's nothing you can do." You nod and follow Rolf. He must be right, he usually is, and you're rather tired. There's something nagging at the back of your head, but you push it away, it can wait for tomorrow.

There are three pairs of desperate eyes on you. It's clear she'd been closed off lately. They chalked it up to stress at work. Work that she seemed to confide in you about. They want an answer, an idea, anything. So you close your eyes and think back to everything Hermione's said to you in the past six months. '_Nothing_,' you think, '_there was nothing unusual about her behaviour.'_ But there's that tugging again at the back of your mind, so you let go and let the memories flood you.

And suddenly it hits you. Everything you've pushed away and down played since you notice her change. Since the day Ron proposed.

It started small, her eyes would grow distant and empty when she discussed the wedding or Ron. You never pressed or said anything, like Ginny did. Her eyes always thanked you. Then there's the days you see them at the Ministry. She seems to be working with him more closely. Out of curiosity you bring it up. She brushes it off as easily as you bring it up.

"Oh it's nothing Luna. We're negotiating some inconsequential matters with the Hungarian ministry. Using Malfoy as my messenger owl wasn't very appealing, but he work in International Relations. He's the right person for this job." Something about the way she says Malfoy doesn't sit quite right with you. But she told you not to worry, so you store it away in the back of your mind.

Then it's the way her eyes light up with that long lost fire, and she smirks discretely when his owl delivers notes. She claims she's needed at work and not to wait up for her, she'll be late again. Her eyes meet yours and pass a silent message. '_Let it go, Luna.'_ You know there's nothing important at work. So you pretend you haven't seen their lingering touches and desire-filled looks. It's easier to believe everything is innocent, because she's Hermione and she only lies for the greater good, right? When Harry questioned you, you tell him the negotiations with the Hungarians must be going well, the moment must not be wasted. He knows how difficult they can be. He accepts your answer, because you're Luna who never lies, and she's Hermione who tells him everything. Ron doesn't notice the difference. He's too in love and, bless him, but he's never been observant. When the guilt attacks later, you remind yourself that your really, _technically_ don't know anything.

When you confront her while shopping for brides maids gowns, she makes it hard for you to deny the knowledge.

"What are you doing, Mione?" You ask. "Shouldn't you be done negotiations with the Hungarians?" Brown meets blue, and she knows you are in fact talking about the blonde haired Slytherin, not work.

"Don't you worry, Lu," she smiles knowingly, affectionately. "Sometimes you've got to follow your heart. That's what I'm doing." She turns to look at more dresses she'll never need or purchase. You push this new information back as you focus on Gin, who's bitching about baby weight as she pushes James' buggy. It's the last time anyone sees Hermione, before she quietly disappears.

As you snap back to the present, everything fits into place. You know where she's gone and who she's gone with. It wasn't a kidnapping, as everyone has hopelessly clung to, but you refrain from saying anything. You don't look them them in the eyes, there's too much hurt behind them, and the guilt in yours may betray you. It's clear you'll have to tell Harry. He's a smart man; he'll figure it our eventually and tell Ginny. He may even resent you for keeping it from him. But Ron. Dear, sweet, heartbroken Ron. How do you tell one of your best friends that the woman he so loved has run away with the man he so loathed? You close your eyes, count to ten, and lie, for the first time in your life.


	2. Peter

**A/N: It's 3:30 in the morning here in the Great White North, but that's always when the muse hits. Evidently it's not big on me getting much in the way of sleep tonight, I'm sure you've all been here. This chapter focuses on Peter and the ten minutes before and after he tells Voldemort of the Potters whereabouts. Enjoy!**

_9:00pm_

Peter didn't mind the feeling of apparation. In fact, in a sick, masochistic kind of way, he relished in the feeling. Being voluntarily forced through a thin pipe almost to the point of suffocation, only to be dropped, suddenly freed of the discomfort. It made him feel powerful. He could control where he wanted to go, down to the step he wanted to land on. Yes power wasn't something that Peter often had, thus his constant thirst to please those who could promise him plenty. And perhaps if Peter had not been thinking about this so intently, he would have arrived closer to his intended destination.

Indeed, young Peter Pettigrew knew where he was. A fair ten minutes walk to Malfoy Manor, where his omnipotent, omniscient Master awaited his word. Words that would hold him in higher regard than any other Death Eater. And he knew he bloody well deserved it! No one had spied as thoroughly as he! No one had acted the part of innocent as well as he! No one had been as undetectable or less suspicious than Peter because no one was trusted by the other side the way he was! No, Lucius' money and influence would not hold a candle to the news Peter had for his Lord.

_9:05pm_

No one had ever thought he would accomplish much. Of course he would get a mediocre job that would pay the rent for a small flat. He would follow Lily and James and Sirius and Remus like the entranced buffoon they all anticipated him to be. Be a doting uncle to the son Lily so adored. Be the soft and quiet friend that Remus often needed. The admiring ego boost for James. And the blindly faithful follower to Sirius. Watch as they all fell in love, settled down, and forgot to frequently contact him. Caught up in their own perfection.

Had their been no war, perhaps the fates would have let it be so. Perhaps Peter would have settled into this life, not necessarily fulfilling, but content. Filled with love and trust. And maybe if he'd been a true Gryffindor, like his three best friends, he'd have sacrificed his life to keep them safe. But Peter was greedy and terrified. When the Dark Lord had personally sought out his help, Peter felt as though, for once, he was actually needed.

_9:07pm_

The Marauders had never truly needed Peter. They'd have figured a way to get under the Willow had he not been there, as a rat, to help them. Sirius and James had never asked him for help planning a prank; they were brilliant, and any needed help came from the vast mind of Remus. Nor had his three friends needed his assistance in the creating of the Map. They were tall. They were intelligent. They were all rather handsome, even Remus, who believed his scars made him monstrous. Moony, Padfoot and Prongs. They were everything Peter was not. And though he loved them dearly, he hated them for it. So he used what he knew to create their downfall; trust and loyalty.

It had been so much easier than he'd planned. Tensions were high, the fear that Lily, James and baby Harry were in danger mounted with every day. Sirius was eager to find safety for the only family he'd ever truly loved. Peter dropped hints about Remus being the spy, made it seem as though it hurt him deeply to 'distrust' his dear friend. And Sirius believed him. Because it was Peter, dumb Peter, who could never manage a complex mission. Because he so desperately needed something to believe in. Remus was just as easy. All Peter had had to do was play into the werewolf's insecurities. Make Remus believe he was not good enough in Sirius' eyes. Make him believe that he was suspected of being a spy. That they thought he was a monster. But not Peter, on no, he knew Remus would never do such a thing, never even hurt a fly! It was just that he had heard Siri voice such certain distrust, that he thought Remy ought to know.

He had them both eating out of his hand; Sirius in a protective fury, Remus in a quiet despair. Even James had trusted Peter enough to make him secret keeper, and Lily trusted James' judgement. After all, he and Pete had been best mates for ten years, why shouldn't he be trusted?

And Peter was thankful for this logic. It had made his job far easier. A job which he was about to be greatly rewarded for.

_9:09:50-Ten_

He was at the gate.

_Nine_

Perhaps this would make him something of a second-in-command.

_Eight_

He would have power over them.

_Seven_

Bella would have to worship him.

_Six_

Dumbledore would baffle at his genius.

_Five_

He grinned as he climbed the first step.

_Four_

He would be revered, and hated, and powerful.

_Three_

And only Sirius would know.

_Two_

Sirius, whom he planned to kill after the Dark Lord killed the Potters.

_One_

A cold voice. "You're late, Wormtail"

* * *

_11:00pm_

It was done. There was no turning back. He sat alone in his flat, no Death Eaters, no Order Members, simply alone.

The steady drip of his faucet had stopped, much like his world. He had made the right decision. He would know if he hadn't. They would be killed tomorrow night. That was it. That easy. The Dark Lord had been so pleased, had held Peter as an example to his other Death Eaters, offered him riches beyond his dreams after Harry had been killed. Bella was furious, yet unable to touch him. Peter ought to be simply ecstatic. Ought to be tap dancing and singing a jaunty tune in the middle of a busy London street. Ought to be revising his plan to kill Sirius.

_11:05pm_

And yet he felt as though a full body bind had be placed upon him.

Air-ways too tight.

Tear ducts burning.

Blood pounding in his brain.

Acid churning in his stomach.

And emptiness. Pure, unrestrained emptiness. A void in his heart that threatened to be quickly filled with anguish and regret. But what good would that do him? It wouldn't bring him happiness. It wouldn't take back the betrayal of his dearest friends.

_11:07pm_

And what exactly did he think he could do now? There was no way in hell he could produce a confundus charm strong enough to wipe the memories of the Dark Lord and all of the Death Eaters. His friends were going to die a horrible death. An innocent child was to be murdered at the hands of a cruel, insecure, and undeniably insane man. But there was no way Peter could end this in a win-win situation. No matter how many ways he looked at it, no one won, not even the Dark Lord.

He could let Sirius live, let Remus find out what he had done. However the two of them would kill him and go to Azkaban for it. Lose-Lose.

He could kill Sirius; make him out to be the evil friend-betrayer; leave Remus alone and let the despair drive him to an early grave. He would be the last Marauder. Alone, and unloved. Again, lose-lose.

He could warn Dumbledore, the Potters, the Order; prepare them for the coming of the Dark Lord. Give them time to escape to a new home with a new fidelius charm and a new secret keeper. They would hate him, he'd be thrown into Azkaban. That is, if the Dark Lord didn't kill him first. Definitely lose-lose.

Or he could just let the events play out. Let the chips fall where they may. Hide away from the wizarding world as a rat. Voldemort would reign, continue killing, but would never be satisfied with the ever rising death toll. His problems ran far too deep for that. People would continue to suffer and die, to live in fear. More lose-lose, but at least Peter could lose from a distance.

_11:09pm_

And so, being the coward he was, Peter stifled the empty feeling with determination to make the best of his impending life as a rat.

_Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six. Five._

_Four._

They were tall.

_Three._

They were intelligent.

_Two._

They were handsome.

_One._

And they would all die because of him.

**And there you have my feeble attempt at a peek into Peter's betrayal. R&R.**


	3. Ron and Ginny

**This update chosen for you by the fantastical mandabear99, who is a good friend that I love dearly. Obv doesn't belong to me, merely borrowing for my entertainment. Last sentence also belongs to Ms Rowling. Happy reading !**

* * *

The room was quiet. Not a sound to overlap the steady breaths of its four occupants. I admired the calm that radiated from him. I knew exactly what he was thinking, exactly what he was feeling. I knew, because I felt them too. It had been 10 months for me, but only 10 hours for him. All the things I had been feeling for the past 10 months played out across his face; the joy, the wonder, the excitement, and the steadfast certainty. This was it for him, his world, like mine, perfected, completed, by the tiny rhythmic heartbeat of the sleeping wonder in his arms.

I lost my train of thought when I saw his brow furrow.

"What's wrong?" I asked. He seemed startled to hear me speak. As if he'd forgotten our presence.

"That obvious?" He mumbled.

"Like a picture book," I smiled. "Now really Ron, what could possibly be wrong at a time like this?"

He sighed, clearly pondering whether or not to tell me for a moment, before resolve slid firmly into place.

"Is it wrong," he started slowly. "That it suddenly feels like everything in my life is right? Like my world has been off its axis for so long, and it's just been cemented to its proper place?"

"Wow. I wasn't aware you know how to think deeply. Won't Hermione be happy to hear you can."

"Gin, be serious." He chided. I felt my face flame red.

"Set yourself up for it." I mumbled, before continuing. "Why would you think the feeling wrong? I happen to know it's a rather beautiful moment."

His face reddened in anger and confusion. "Beautiful? How can it be beautiful Ginny? What if this means I love Hugo more than Rosie? She's my baby girl and I love her and I don't think I could live with myself knowing that I didn't feel right until Hugo was born! He's 10 minutes old and I'm already a horrible dad." My heart broke at the sight of my big brother, usually so strong and stubborn, so shattered at the absurdity his mind created.

" Ronald Bilius Weasley you need to shut up and listen. If you think you love Hugo more, then how would you feel if I took Rosie and sent her to live with Neville and Hannah for the summer? If you couldn't see your baby girl for two months? Would you be willing to give one up for the other?"

"Never!" Ron's shouted, two little bodies jumping. "How could you even suggest that? I would give everything for them."

I smiled, "Then that's how you know, Ron. There's nothing you wouldn't give for one that you wouldn't give for the other. Love isn't something you have to break apart into pieces, it's something that multiplies endlessly. Having Hugo doesn't mean you love Rose, or 'Moine, or Mom, or any of us any less. It just means your heart has grown bigger; it's created more space for him. Like magic." I winked at my hard headed brother. He looked to the little bundle of his son, then to Lily, who lay starting at her uncle on my shoulder. He then looked to me, silently absorbing my milk crate speech, before speaking slowly.

"This feeling, did you have it after you had Lily-Flower? Did you know that everything would be right?"

"Yes." I answered honestly. "When Jamie was born, I felt like it was the start to the way my life should be. But there was still more space to fill, more room to love. Then Al was born, and I felt another piece, and equally sized space, become filled with all my love for him. And for awhile, Harry and I thought that maybe this was it. But we both felt it, there was more room in our hearts to love. When we found out we were pregnant with Lil, it was like we could feel it slowly filling. And the moment I held her, I knew. Our family wasn't complete without her. None of us would be quite right without each other. So there are three equal sized parts in my heart that are overflowing with unconditional love for my children. None of them mean more to me than the others, and there is nothing I would do for one that I would not do for the others without a moments hesitation. And I _know_ that is exactly what you're feeling right now Ron. So tell me, isn't it a beautiful feeling?" I stopped, out of breath, looking momentarily at my brother, before starting down at the most beautiful baby girl in the world. The final piece to my heart. My heart that ached from being away from my rambunctious little boys. Distracting me from my thoughts, Ron spoke up.

"Yeah. Yeah, it is. They really are perfect, aren't they?" He pondered, gazing at his brand new baby. "Perfect. I made something pure and perfect. Really is a wonderful thought, isn't it? After all the bloody crap we shouldered as kids, all the pain, and running, and suffering. They'll never know that. They have real childhoods. They'll learn how to laugh and trust and love the right way. They can hate Draco's son just for the sake of hating him, not because his father is trying to get his master to kill their best friend. Maybe he'll be smart like his Mum. I sure hope he is. I hope they're both just like her, because I'd know they'd be good people that way. God, Ginny, look at them. They are going to be so loved and cared for by us, and their aunt's and uncle's and cousins and friends and... and there are just so many people who are going to love our children. We created people, real people, who are going to make differences in the world. I feel like my heart is about to burst, and it's the best feeling in the world."

I beamed, knowing that every word that spilled out of his mouth was true. There were two tiny people in the room, two tiny people that had changed so many worlds and would continue to change so many worlds for the better. Ron and I didn't often see eye to eye, he didn't often make an effort to hear what I was saying, but this was one of our fleeting, wonderful moments. A pure, untainted moment of joy. A sudden voice startled us both from reveres.

"They will be wonderful human beings, because they came from wonderful parents." Harry smiled, gently running his palm over his new nephews head. "Come on, you saps, there's a hormonal mum and excited little girl in the other room, anxiously awaiting the amazing daddy and 'wittle brudder' who are going to change their worlds forever." He winked playfully, but I could see the love shining through my husbands eyes.

"Go on," Ron nodded at his best mate, then to the door, "We'll catch up with you in a minute mate."

Harry nodded, kissing my forehead, then Lily's, before departing the small nursing room.

I stared at Ron, who stared at Hugo. He looked up, a small smile playing at his lips.

"Ten centimetres, can you believe it? That's all that kept us from a perfect world. Who knew it was that easy?"

I gave an incredulous snort, "Yeah easy for you! Use your brain for once and don't say that in front of Hermione." I reached up to tousle his hair, "Now come on, Uncy Won, Jamie needs his jungle gym."

10 months ago my life became perfectly, imperfect.

10 hours ago, my closest brother got to learn that the biggest changes come from the smallest thing.

All was well.

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**First reviewer gets to pick the next chapter of my list of prompts. ;) Thanks to those who have r&r'd, commented, favorited & story alerted. You make my day !**


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